xxxHOLiC ep.17

September 18, 2006 | 12 Comments

This is such a strange episode. It seems as if the producers suddenly realised that they don't have enough budget to produce the remaining episodes so they need to cut down on spending right away. Having said that, the drawings are actually better than their past efforts. This will explain why they reused the same room over and over again. That way they can minimise animation and keep a tight leash on the character design. I guess this is what we get after a high quality episode like the one that comes before it. Overall, however, I don't mind the episode. The story might be a little bit hard to understand at first but it was quite eye-opener, at least for me, once I understood what Yuuko says in the episode.

The episode begins with Yuuko sitting in front of a woman called Nurie while Watanuki is standing behind her. When Nurie is about to lift her coffee cup, however, Yuuko tells her that she'd best not do what she's about to do. On a hindsight, Yuuko thinks that maybe she should asks Nurie to do it and see what happens. A flashback then shows Watanuki looking pissed off after he found a note from Yuuko inside a locker, asking him to buy her a fake glasses. Watanuki is angry because instead of asking him, Yuuko actually gave him a key to open a locker and left a note inside that locker. Despite his complaints, Watanuki eventually obtained a red fake glasses from a 100 Yen shop. When he's about to cross the street, however, he noticed a shiny object falling from a woman's shoulder. The woman then walked onto the traffic, fell over and got hit by a motorbike. The woman, Kashida Nurie, was injured and ended up in a hospital.

Inside her room, Nurie got startled when Watanuki knocked on the door and entered the room. She quickly realised that Watanuki was the one who called the ambulance and came with her to the hospital. When Nurie informed Watanuki that she only got a minor fracture, he told her that is because she was only hit by a motorbike but if that had been a truck, it would have been fatal. Nurie's expression suddenly turned cold after she heard this but Watanuki decided to shrugged it off and gave her a flower bouquet. Nurie, however, grabbed the bouquet and threw it into the floor. Fast forward a few hours later, Watanuki explained to Yuuko why he skipped work the day before and came late that day. He also asked her why she needs the fake glasses but Yuuko couldn't give him the answer. Instead, she asked Watanuki how was his visit to the hospital and correctly guessed that Watanuki believed the shiny object was not a buckle on her purse strap.

Watanuki explained that he gave the flowers to Nurie but she simply threw them to the floor. Yuuko wonders if Watanuki did something to set her off, such as saying "I heard this hospital has the best morgue in town". Watanuki was annoyed to hear this and told Yuuko that he'd never tell a black joke like that one. He then explained that Nurie just threw the flower suddenly and he believed she had no reason for doing it. She even apologised after that, saying she shouldn't have done it. Watanuki got the impression that Nurie has always been like this, doing things she's not meant to do. For example, if there is a button that she is not meant to press, she'd press it so she often sets off fire alarm quite often. And although she'd have no problem of passing entrance exam, she'd deliberately catch a cold and stay home. When she was at the Uni, she never wrote her name on the exam paper. This time around a presentation was stressing her out.

Despite this, Nurie claimed that she's not trying to ruin her life although Watanuki didn't seem to believe her. He felt that she deliberately trying to make a mess of her life. Having said that, Watanuki wonders if there are spirits who can make a person do this sort of thing. Yuuko was not sure if this is a case involving spirits. She asked Watanuki if he knows why someone would reject all the happiness that come their way. For example, she wanted to know if he understands why someone who won 300 million Yen in a lottery would refuse to claim the prize. Watanuki believed that such situation doesn't make sense because Yuuko always points out that it's a form of legitimate compensation. Yuuko told Watanuki that he's correct: a person would receive happiness from claiming the prize. This is the reason why Watanuki could not understand Nurie's feeling. Their conversation, however, was interrupted by the sound of the clock's bell.

Yuuko put on the fake glasses and asked Watanuki to bring Nurie to this shop. The day after, Watanuki visited Nurie again, asking her if she normally accepts happiness in her life. At first Nurie claimed to be happy but eventually admitted that maybe she does avoid every chance to be happy. Watanuki tried to convince Nurie that it may not even be her mistake and because of this, there's someone that he wanted to introduce to her. The episode then returns to the start where Nurie was about to lift her coffee cup but Yuuko tells her that whatever it is she's going to do, she should go ahead and try it. Nurie pretended not to know what Yuuko is talking about but Yuuko tells her outright that Nurie was thinking of throwing that coffee right into her face. She then tells her right away that this is a shop that grants wishes so the fact that Nurie is even here suggests that she has a wish. Yuuko wants Nurie to tell her what is it that she wish for.

Yuuko also tells Nurie that she can grant any wish when Nurie asks about it. Eventually, Nurie tells Yuuko that she wants to control her urge to do something she know she should not do. Yuuko then asks Nurie a hypothetical question: if she were to win a 300 million Yen in a lottery, would she claim the prize. Nurie claims that she won't claim it and explains that she's been like this. Even though she knows which one is the right choice, she will inadvertently choose other path. And she'd usually screw it all up. She believes that even Yuuko probably has moments like these. Yuuko, however, does not understand because these are Nurie's feelings. Regardless of the feeling, if it is in one's mind, then the feeling belongs to that person. Because of this, if one agrees with it, then that means the person thinks it's the right choice. Yuuko believes that what is right and what is not is different from person to person. The same thing can be said about happiness.

Because of this, Yuuko wonders if Nurie really wants to supress this kind of feelings. Nurie tells Yuuko that she's certain about this because she always causes trouble for other people. Yuuko, however, isn't so sure about this because out of the people that she caused trouble, Nurie herself included in it. Yuuko believes that happiness is something one negotiates with oneself. A promise that one makes to oneself. In other words, happiness is something that a person compensates him/herself after a hard work. She believes that Nurie collects all of her suffering from her decisions and refuses to reward herself for it. This violates the contract that one has with oneself because a person must always pay his/her debts even if the receiver is yourself. For example, if a person wins a lottery, then that person must claim the prize, because that is his/her compensation. If the person owes ten thousand yen then that person must pay ten thousand yen.

Yuuko believes that any difference will disrupt the balance before presenting Nurie with the cheap fake glassess that Watanuki bought. She, however, claims that this is a special glasses much to Watanuki's horror. Yuuko tells Nurie that if she wears this, it will lead her to the right path. However, Nurie is free to do whatever she wants with it, whether to throw it away or keep it. Later on after Nurie left the shop, Watanuki asks Yuuko if that cheap sunglasses really is special. Yuuko, however, tells Watanuki that it's just a 100 Yen sunglasses. Watanuki is annoyed about this and in addition to this, Nurie left without paying for the service. Yuuko, however, assures him that Nurie paid for it. Watanuki is suprirsed to hear this and wonders what Yuuko meant by this. Instead of answering Watanuki's question right away, Yuuko asks him a question: if someone stops you and asks if he can give you a 100 billion yen, what would you do?

Watanuki tells Yuuko that he will refuse it because it sounds suspicious. In return, Yuuko tells him that he simply proves her point: that's how people who refuse happiness think. Yuuko points out that she never said that the person with the money had ulterior motive. Watanuki argues that everyone would know that 100 billion Yen is not something to laugh at. When Yuuko asks him why won't he accept it, Watanuki explains it's because he'd worry about what happens next. Yuuko tells Watanuki that he's correct. In order to receive happiness, an equal amount of effort or compensation is required. She points out that surely Watanuki has heard that life sways back and forth between plus and minus. A person must take the good along with the bad and vice versa. She, however, thinks that this view is inaccurate. She believes that in order to receive happiness, one must also experiences equal amount of unhappiness as a payment.

The idea comes from having to tolerate the bad times in order to enjoy the good times. Assuming that good times will arise because you have bad times isn't just optimism. In other words, the higher you want to go, the requirement will be more demanding. If one does not meet these requirements, it'll be insincere. In reverse, if one is destined toward the path of misery, in order to break out of the misery, you need to muster up the energy to do so. Watanuki tells Yuuko that Nurie isn't like that at all and starts to wonder if it's possible for her to have any happiness at all. Yuuko thinks Watanuki gets it wrong because such thing will disrupt the balance. She admits that the desire to do what one must not do is the very trait of humanity. However, one must not confuse this with Nurie's motivation. She believes that whether one works for it or not, happiness is not always a good thing. This is because the good parts are the parts that one must pay for.

In addition to this, a person can't avoid paying what the person owes. Yuuko believes that Nurie is running away not from happiness but rather from the responsibility that happens by accepting that happiness. She then points out how Nurie once said that she doesn't ruin her life. All of her actions are calculated. Watanuki thinks it's weird that Nurie will run from responsibility by getting hit by something. Yuuko reminds him that she only got hit by a motorbike and only broke her arm. She believes that Nurie decided to do this on her own since walking in front of a truck is something one really should not do. However, because Nurie did it, she was able to avoid the presentation and escaped the situation that caused her so much stress. She even avoided being promoted as well. Watanuki asks Yuuko about the flowers that he gave her and Yuuko points out that the flower came from a good samaritan who called the ambulance for a complete stranger.

Nurie had no reason to be angry at Watanuki for visiting her at the hospital. She also had no reason to hit the fire alarm at school. Both of them are 'buttons' that one must not press but it won't cause the end of the world if one presses them. The result was Nurie would only get yelled at. Similarly, even if she failed to get into one school, she'd be accepted into another one. This was also the reason why Yuuko asked Nurie to throw the coffee if she wanted to because Yuuko already knew the situation around her and how to avoid it. Calculations are required to control the situation to a desirable conclusion. Yuuko believes that if there is a button that Nurie absolutely must not 'press', then she won't press it. Yuuko tells Watanuki that the glasses won't do anything for Nurie since she already knows which path is best for her right from the start. Because of this, just by doing a reverse psychology, she'll soon be able to obtain her wish.

Upon hearing this, Watanuki wonders what price did Nurie paid for this so Yuuko tells her that it's her escape route. She believes that now Nurie is on her path to happiness, no matter the pressure, she won't be able to run away. Watanuki finally realises that Nurie's problem is simply psychological and not spirit-related. Yuuko points out that the shiny object is probably just the buckle on her purse strap. That night, Nurie walks alone while still holding her glasses. When she passes by a rubbish bin, she wants to throw the glasses into the bin by decides against it. When she arrives in intersection, she wants to cross the street even though the cars are still passing. However, when she grips her hands, she feels the glasses in her hand. She then remembers Yuuko's word, urging her to do what she wants to do and see what happens. The effect of the words works in reverse so she decides to wait until the car stops before crossing the street.

Impression:

Yuuko's words were quite hard to understand at first until I re-watched this the second time. After that, however, not only I understand what she means, I also realised that her statement is applicable to me sometimes. Although I'm not at a point where I sabotage every opportunity in front of me, I am often afraid to take a step into the unknown even if it'll make me happy. The uncertainty is a part of it but it's also partly because I dread the responsibility that comes with seeking the happiness that I want. I often give myself excuses for not doing what I want to do because in my calculations, they often similar to climbing a hill. I prefer to stay in my comfortable zone even though doing that actually eats away my happiness little by little. It's such a strange paradox because if I don't do anything, I'm generally okay but will continue to be unhappy. However, if I do something, I will probably be unhappy in short term but maybe able to obtain what I want later.

Unlike Nurie, however, I am not so insane to throw myself in front of a motorbike to stage an accident. To put it simply, in comparison to Nurie, I simple have more 'buttons' which I really should not push. Failing an exam intentionally or escaping an important presentation, for example, is not one of those things that I consider acceptable no matter how nervous I am at that point. There are, however, times when I push a 'button' because I feel that I am not sure if I can attain the happiness that I want. The cost of pressing that 'button' usually is not much. I will just remain the way I currently am right now. It's not exactly bad but it's not making me happy either. Anyway, one thing I'm not too clear about the episode is the role of the fake sunglasses. How does the object reminds Nurie to do the reverse of what she wants to do? Is it because of the dual nature of sunglasses? What I mean by this is that you can either wear it or not depending on one's mood.

Preview

The next episode: This should be a fun journey into the spirits world.

© memento 2003