Mai Hime ep.19

February 11, 2005 | 19 Comments

Ouch. For fans who are rooting for the lead protagonists, this episode was the equivalent of a kick below the belt. In a nutshell, things are breaking apart rapidly, and almost all HiMEs are in a world of hurt, sniping against each other.

In this episode, Mai's life is reduced to rubble, and it happens in such a painfully logical way that it's actually pretty impressive. Yes, I expected Mai HiME to get darker, but I somehow didn't expect it to become like THIS. In a way, it's probably more disturbing than turning to simple carnage and character-killing, because the atmosphere is way more oppressive.

After watching the episode, I thought I had to rate it as "-" this time, because I really didn't enjoy it at all. However, I realized that the episode was a necessary evil, and my lack of enjoyment was due to the turns of the story, not the execution. That said, there were only very few gems to make me smile compared to other times when the drama kicked in, so more than a "o" would be incorrect either. Finally, RAW-wise there was lots of relevant talk, so if you don't have any japanese skills, you'll miss alot here without a review: Difficult rating on that.

Mai HiME Rating: o
Absolute Rating: o
RAW complexity: Difficult

Fuuka Gakuen, the next morning. A quick look around in the classroom reveals that one chair is empty: Nao has not returned. Mikoto had been checking Aoi's place, but she also confirms that Nao isn't there. Mai is daydreaming as usual, reliving Nao's ugly injury one more time.

Back home, Midori is giving us her best "Siiighhhh" look impression. Obviously she has been soundly defeated by Fumi in their duel last night, since in her flashback she's shown lying on the ground with bruises in her face, while an untouched Fumi unsummons her scythe and steps back with a polite curtsey, but in a perfectly non-mocking way. Mashiro asks Midori if she believes that people can change their fates with their hearts. Upset with her defeat, Midori snaps back with "Of course!", to which Mashiro gives an ominous reply: "If this is so.. then you must try your best for the sake of the girls!"

It should be noted that just like Fumi, Mashiro is absolutely not aggressive or mocking here. It's almost as if she is trying to tell Midori something she can't say any other way. To me this is the first clear hint that there _is_ a way to circumvent the HiMElander fate, if only the girls manage to find and realize it. We see Midori mulling over this line when her eyes focus on a snapshot from the HiME rangers karaoke party, when things were so much better. And it's only from 3 days ago, but it feels like ages...

Leaving the classroom, Mai is asked what the deal is with Takumi's illness, and Mai responds that she doesn't know anything for sure herself right now. Yukino in the background is receiving mails with her mobile phone. The others are gossiping about Tate's dedication in caring for the injured Shiho, and we see Tate on his way where the kendo captain Takeda is awaiting him at the school gate to have a serious talk with him.

Meanwhile, Mikoto is hyperactively buzzing around Mai in her best full bodyguard mode until Mai has enough of it and tells Mikoto to cut it out. Then, Mai broods over what she heard about Tate's past: That he received an injury while training for the kendo nationals, forcing him to stop his activities and causing him to become moody and rash. Shiho was always beside him helping him through this difficult period and cheering him up. She also remembers his attempts to raise her spirits when Mai was breaking down in ep5, but Mikoto interrupts and gets her back into the present.

Takeda asks Tate if caring for Shiho and thus neglecting Kendo is what he really wants. Tate replies that Shiho had been there for him when he was going through a difficult time, and now he wants to be there for her in return. Takeda challenges him to decide if this is his answer and Tate confirms with strong conviction that it is. Takeda accepts that and turns around, remarking that from this day on, he is not part of the dojo anymore. Tate apologizes to Takeda's back and leaves.

Yukino continues to receive strange messages from someone, and she is visibly upset about it. Haruka enters the room and sees her frightened, once more prompting an attempt of hers to get Yukino to spill the beans. Over the last episodes I've grown to like Haruka much more. She is genuinely concerned about Yukino in a very sweet way. Nevertheless, Yukino insists that it's nothing and shrugs her inquiries off.

Mai and Mikoto are walking together talking about Takumi when all of a sudden they hear Akira's and Takumi's voices and stop. Separated by a bush, the two listen to their conversation, in which Takumi explains how much his onee-chan has always done for him since their mother died. We see Mai smile gratefully and happily to hear of this praise. However, things turn very sour...

Takumi expresses that the fact that he is putting so much strain on his sister is a huge burden to him. Even if he takes the surgery, he would only put Mai and him into a bigger debt, and he considers himself so much of a nuisance for her. He doesn't want to be like this. This was the real reason why he didn't want to have the operation - instead, he rather wants to die. Even though his sister always acts so cheery and happy, it's weighing down on him very bad.

Mai behind the bushes reels as if she was slapped. Even Akira is shocked and needs to compose herself before he grabs him at the sleeves of his shirt. She berates him for being such an idiot and urges him to stop with this defeatism. Mai cares a great deal that he lives. And blushing profoundly averting her eyes, she reveals that SHE wants him to live aswell. Takumi correctly interprets this atypical admission from Akira and darkens his face color accordingly too.

Mai watches the scene through a hole in the shrubbery with a mixture of morbid curiosity and repulsion - after all, two boys are deeply looking into each others' eyes. With a gasp she's trying to steady herself, but Akira's sharp ears pick up the noise and cause her to go into defensive mode. Instantly she summons her element and Mai and Mikoto are shown in shock when they hear the characteristic element summoning sound. Thankfully, a cat leaves the bushes, serving as a credible explanation for the noise, causing the tension to relax when Takumi starts laughing at Akira for being so jumpy.

In safe distance from this place, Mikoto demonstrates her skills in transitive logic. So Akira is a HiME - but aren't HiMEs female by default? Sooooo da! That means that Akira is a girl after all! Excitedly, she tries to sell the fruits of her mind's labor to Mai, but she is not very receptive at all. She is still shellshocked from what Takumi said before, so she's snapping at Mikoto to stop it - and that she needs some time on her own. Mikoto is taken aback and sad, because she can't make heads or tails out of Mai's outburst, but she obediently leaves. Behind a tree, we see Yukino follow Mai, still receiving messages...

Elsewhere, we see who has been sending them. Ishigami-sensei is obviously very pleased with his little psychological ploy, and he predicts the breaking out of some open hostilities soon. In a very commanding tone he orders Yukariko, who is posing semi-nude for his painting, to call it a day, and she obediently complies. It seems that she has given up any thoughts of resisting him by now.

Shizuru is opening the door to the student council room and finds Natsuki asleep in front of her laptop. Pleasantly surprised, she closes the door and steps behind Natsuki closely, softly calling out her name. When our favorite bluehair doesn't react, Shizuru snuggles even closer, letting Natsuki's hairs tenderly glide through her fingers.

Feeling the slight draft of a breeze, Natsuki opens her eyes and sees Shizuru against the open window. The school council head notices that she is awake at last and greets her with the statement that she was sleeping so soundly. Natsuki blushes in a very cute way and apologizes. True to her style, Shizuru playfully accuses her of drooling, netting us viewers some wonderful SD-style shots of Natsuki who soon learns that she has only been joking. Embarrassed she is chiding Shizuru's teasing, who poses the question if Natsuki has any troubles she might be able to help her with, since she's been using the laptop for investigations very often lately. Natsuki genuinely thanks Shizuru for her concern, but states that she already completed her investigation and gets up to leave.

Here, Shizuru stops Natsuki by softly calling her name, confessing to her that she is always on her mind, and she is begging her not to forget it. We see Natsuki's eyes widen in surprise before she regains her solemn, slightly sad look. She gently thanks Shizuru for her feelings, but asks her please not to come into her heart.

I believe that this is going to be one of the very key scenes of the Mai HiME anime. It proves two things: First, that Natsuki is clearly aware of Shizuru's feelings for her and is able to correctly interpret them. Especially for laying the foundations of a potential female-female relationship, this is a major hurdle which the two of them just cleared. Second, the way Natsuki worded her rejection indicates that she is not completely unreceptive to the idea. If she was, the reply would have been more along the lines of "I'm sorry, I can't think of you this way". Instead, she is begging Shizuru not to continue on this path any further and not to try to find a way into her heart. So the possibility for Shizuru to get there is very real. And there is way enough time to develop this angle further. I predict that this is exactly what's going to happen. I'd say that Natsuki is afraid to put her in danger should Shizuru become her MVP, since she still fancies herself not to have someone like this (IMHO incorrectly).

On her way out, she is running into Takeda again. It's almost as if he was listening from behind the door, but his reaction wasn't conclusive for a certain call. Still embarrassed, Natsuki lashes out at him, calls him an idiot and pushes him away, marching off. Poor Takeda, he has become her personal punching ball :)

At the garden monument, Mikoto is sadly wondering what she should do. Reito greets her and asks what's on her mind. Mikoto replies that she wonders how she should act towards Mai who had just sent her off. She could feel that Mai was depressed, but what can she do to help her? Reito offers simple advice: If Mai is precious to her, Mikoto should do whatever she can to help her, to the fullest of her abilities. Motivated by his words, Mikoto jumps up to look for Mai again, thanking Reito that he's just like her ani-ue (so true). Reito stays behind, looking at the HiME star which he can obviously see. His solemn facial expression seems very Obsidian-princely to me...

In the dorms, Takumi drops his medicine pouch and notices a sketchbook below Akira's bed when he's bending down to retrieve it. He picks up the book and skips through the pages when Akira returns from the bathroom. Visibly embarrassed, she jumps to Takumi and rips it out of his fingers, asking if he had looked inside it. Takumi is confirming this with a nod when some seizures shake him and he collapses to his knees. Akira hurries to his side, trying to help him and dropping the sketchbook which flips open. It exclusively shows sketches from Takumi. Well, everybody knew from the episodes before that Akira has been falling for Takumi, but after these scenes it's crystal-clear.

In the evening dusk, Mai is standing at the ocean shore, reliving Takumi's words one more time. "Onee-chan is always pretending to be so happy, but it's actually very heavy..." - "But I WAS happy", Mai insists with teary eyes. "I don't understand, what have I done wrong?"

She is almost trance-like in her grief when she remembers Akira being a HiME and summoning her element instantly. A shock hits her: What if Takumi is her MVP? What happens when she is defeated, causing Takumi to perish in green sparks?

Hiding behind a rock, Yukino continues to stalk Mai. Again, her phone shows the messages she's been receiving from Ishigami-sensei: "You're the weakest link," "Haruka is going to disappear," "I will defeat you," "You will die," "but if you finish off Mai..." Yukino can't take it anymore, breaks down crying and summons Diana. One of her child's tentacles is slipping through the sand, menacingly rising up behind Mai's back, ready to strike. However, Yukino can't do it. She remembers a time back when Haruka said that whoever wanted to partner up with her needed to be brave, but Diana's tentacles are only twitching. Yukino can't do it. She is no killer.

Mikoto comes around in high spirits looking for Mai, and her initial happiness to have found her is replaced by shock and anger that she is threatened by a giant tentacle and obviously unaware of the danger. Her ani-ue charm is flaring up brightly, she wields Miroku and jumps at still hesitating Diana who doesn't fight back. Mikoto makes short work of the tentacle, causing Diana to shriek and revealing Yukino who was still hiding. Mikoto's charm glows one more time and she hears the voice of her ani-ue, reminding her that she needs to defeat the enemy at all costs. In battle frenzy she rushes toward Yukino's prone shape, ready to slice her in half... but Mai has assessed the situation and slaps Mikoto with her element, away from Yukino and into the ocean.

One thing needs to be said here: Kajiura-sensei is working her magic again. Even though the upcoming battle is basically the same as some others before, the pulsating new intra-HiME battlehymn is changing the atmosphere completely from earlier "Mezame"-times to a creepy, angsty and vicious incident. What a chilling experience. Delightful.

The glow on Mikoto's charm subsides and she looks around with a surprised look on her face, almost as if she was awakening out of a dream. It seems obvious that the charm has certain capabilities and that it drove Mikoto to her mad dash against Yukino, who she obviously not even realized to be her second closest friend. Mai however doesn't know about any of this. Seething with anger she screams at Mikoto what the hell she was thinking. Mikoto is trying to come to her senses and is looking very confused, looking at the collapsed Yukino who is whimpering and begging for forgiveness over and over again. From the viewpoint of Mai and Mikoto she is muttering incoherent things about being forced to attack, mixed with countless apologies, and Mai tells her to get out of her sight - which Yukino does.

Then Mai turns her attention to Mikoto who is still confused and shocked about the visible disapproval in Mai's eyes - who then unleashes a cruel barrage at her:

Mai: "Why did you attack Yukino?"
Mikoto: "I did it... because I like you, Mai..."
Mai: "Like me? If you liked me, why didn't you listen to me? Like, huh? Do you even know this feeling? Having someone dear to you... the burden of it all... DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT???"
Mikoto is shocked and confused about this outburst.
Mai: "Whenever I'm with you, everything becomes a mess. I need a break."
Mikoto: "Am I... a bother... to you?"
Mai: "..."
Mikoto breaks down in tears and literally screams in pain...

We should keep in mind that Mai was really on the edge and not herself when he did this to Mikoto. Still, to answer her question for Mikoto: Yes, she does. In fact, right now Mai is clearly the person she cares for most. And due to Mai's carelessness, she had to rescue her countless times. This is a burden, but a burden Mikoto is willing to take, because she deeply cares for Mai, who is like a mother figure for her. I guess Mai didn't even realize how cruel it was what she did here. Poor Mikoto. But - in consequence - poor Mai aswell. She is going to pay for this dearly.

Mai receives a phone call from Akira that Takumi was hospitalized again. So she's rushing over to be at his side and see for herself how her little brother is doing. Here, Takumi breaks the big news to her: Yes, he has decided to take the operation after all. Mai is relieved and happy, clasping his hand. Takumi however has other ideas.

He's telling her that he does not plan to burden her with the trip. "But it's no burden at all!" she reacts in a slightly panicked way, but Takumi refuses. He has been relying on her all too much in the past, and he does not plan to do this again in this case. He wants Mai to be free to do what _she_ wants to do this time, and therefore he will go to America alone.

Mai weakly objects, but he withdraws his hand from hers and takes her hand instead. The meaning of this gesture is obvious: He removes himself from onee-chan's care, and this time he won't budge. Therefore, he concludes, this is for your sake. You do what you want to do this time, you won't care for me.

Alone on a playground swing in the evening, Mai's nightmare goes on. The world around her is falling apart and she doesn't understand what's happening to her. Why is Takumi slipping away all of a sudden? To do what she wants, what could that be? What Takumi does not realize is that he is the pinnacle of her world. Caring for him is the source of Mai's strength and dedication, and now that he will be gone, her life is empty. She doesn't know what to do on her own, for herself. She is totally lost and crying alone in isolation. But things are going to become even worse...

Tate is pushing Shiho sitting in a wheelchair along the street, continuing to spend time with her and spoil her a bit - playfully calling her ohime-sama (princess), which Shiho happily responds to. Under a streetlight, they briefly stop and Shiho happens to recognize Mai's destitute shape sitting on the swing in the darkness below. Looking up, Mai recognizes the two aswell, but Tate is still unaware. Taking advantage of the situation, Shiho is making her play:

Shiho: "Onii-chan... your being nice to me... isn't it out of guilt?"
Tate reels in visible shock.
Tate: "Of course not."
Shiho: "Well, then... kiss me."

Shiho turns her wheelchair around and faces Tate determinedly, repeating her request to be kissed by him. Tate is shocked and slightly upset about her reaction. Shiho continues that she wants to know what's really inside his heart, and that she doesn't want any fake feelings anymore. And she insists: Kiss me. Tate hesitates, clearly uneasy about this change of turns. However, he makes the decision, straightens up, leans over to take Shiho's face in his hands and kisses her on the lips.

Mai is watching the scene in horror and abruptly turns her face away. This is exactly what she did not need right now. Shiho buries her face at Tate's chest and says how incredibly happy she is now. Eventually, Tate breaks the embrace, looks up... and for the first time notices Mai staring at them with teary eyes. Shock spreads over his face, and when Mai turns to run away, his first impulse is to rush after her - but a soft "what's wrong, onii-chan" from Shiho stops him dead in his tracks. With a "no... it's nothing" Tate continues his usual path of denial - and a sad "so..." escapes Shiho's lips. She knows that it's not nothing, and she knows that her hold on Tate is very incomplete. Her face distorts to an angry, scary and somehow _evil_ look.

I'll tell you something, this Shiho is no little girl anymore. She was always very lively and quick-minded, but this was beautifully played by her. Her victory wasn't complete, as Tate's instinctive preparation to dash after Mai proved, but she got Tate to technically commit to her AND terribly hurt her rival at the same time. Tate should better learn not to treat her as a little kid anymore. She is not.

Heartbroken, Mai is running through the empty nightly streets. She remembers Takumi's genuine wish-question "Onee-chan, is there something you want for yourself", which in the light of the scene she just witnessed sounds sickeningly ironic. She now knows that the one thing she does want for herself after all - Tate - was just taken away from her too. The nightmare continues. Meanwhile, Takumi is sleeping soundly in the hospital - and Nao Krueger's clawy shadow shows against the curtain.

Back home, Mai is eating her dinner alone. Mikoto is nowhere around, expelled by Mai's former outburst (which clearly wasn't Mai's intention, since she put dishes out for Mikoto too). In total silence she's having a bath and going to sleep. Her last thought:

"I no longer have anything left".

Conclusion

Ouch. Well, the damage to Mai in this episode has been beautifully maximized. Yes, partly she has brought this upon herself - but still, what a totally depressing episode. What I find amazing in hindsight is how logical things unraveled for her. Her lashing out at Mikoto was a bit of a stretch but perfectly believable. And everything else just happened as it could have been predicted - in a worst-case scenario.

I hope that the trance-like frustration soon gives way for some new hope, however. In the end of the episode I felt myself disconnect a bit, and this is no good sign. In other words, I've had enough of the defeatist whining and crying for now. Melodrama is fine, but not too long. I hope that Mai regains her former strength and manages to rebound soon, but the rock bottom may not have been reached quite yet.

Yay for Shizuru! I want to know how their story continues, and by now I'm confident that it will play a major role in the ending. It's not just that no character is funnier in the SD-mode than her, I also want to see her thaw - and learn how she will be once Shizuru DOES make it into her heart after all. Or if she doesn't, how she will deal with it.

Nao won't kill Takumi. I don't see how this could accomplish anything. But I guess that kidnapping might be a worthwhile approach. We'll see about that. In the preview of ep20 we see Nao fighting with Midori, so alot can happen.

In the preview, we also see some very strange images of Mikoto in bake-neko mode attacking Mai, riding a Kagutsuchi who is looking EXTREMELY strange. For the time being I opt to expect these images to be either a bad dream or strange hallucinations. That's not the real thing. As long as I can help it ^_^

Gimme ep20 already!

© memento 2003